I realized recently that the propositions weren't available anywhere online, so I'm remedying that with this post. Much of my learning about this issue can be found in this statement by the elders at John MacArthur's Grace Community Church, where I served on staff and wrote the original draft of the statement. But I've always found that these propositions are a simple and helpful format for teaching and discussion, so I'll reproduce below the one-page version of them that I've often printed out for those purposes.
At the center of my "system" for understanding and reconciling all the relevant passages (and also at the center of the propositions page, interestingly) is Jeremiah 3:6-10, which is often overlooked but absolutely critical to these issues. I think my best contribution to the thorny questions about divorce is how I point out that since Jesus used only one word for his "exception" in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9, his Jewish audience must have known what he was talking about, and undoubtedly they would have been familiar with Jeremiah 3:6-10, a striking and memorable passage where God divorces Israel. And the word porneia that Jesus uses in Matthew is found four times in four verses in the Greek Septuagint version of that passage. So when they heard that word, they would have understand that Jesus was talking about unrepentant sexual sin, because that was the grounds for God's divorce of Israel (twice it says "she did not return"). It then follows, like I say in the propositions, that the only time divorce is acceptable to God is when reconciliation to a monogamous, cohabitant relationship is not possible.
I've also recently added a proposition (IV) about criminal physical abuse, because the issue always comes up in discussions about grounds for divorce and is in the spotlight now more than ever (see this post about a well-known theologian who changed his view).
Limits on time and space keep me from elaborating about all this further as I do in my teaching, but you can listen to the recordings at the link in the first paragraph below and also correspond with me in the comments or any other way. I welcome any and all dialogue about this important issue. But here are my propositions:
WHAT
GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER...
by Dave Swavely
The following propositions, summarizing my views on the
biblical teaching about divorce and remarriage, are the result of many years of
considering the exegetical, theological, and practical issues facing the church
today. An explanation of the biblical basis for each of these propositions is
available in a series of audio files that can be streamed at…
I. Because of the sacredness of
marriage and the seriousness of covenant vows (Gen. 2:24; Eccl. 5:4-6; Mal.
2:14-16; Mark 10:2-12), all biblical means should be exhausted to keep any
marriage together (Matt. 18:15-17; 1 Cor. 7:12; 1 Pet. 3:1‑7). Divorce is only
allowed by God in rare and extreme circumstances (Matt. 19:8-10; 1 Cor.
7:10-15), and long-term separation as often practiced today is neither biblical
nor wise (Matt. 19:6; 1 Cor. 7:1-5, 15).
II. When even serious sins like abuse,
sexual immorality, or separation occur in a marriage, but repentance occurs and
reconciliation to a monogamous, cohabitant relationship is possible, then the
faithful partner should forgive and reconcile (Luke 17:3‑4; Matt. 5:23‑24; Eph.
4:32). Reconciliation after divorce is not possible when one partner
is remarried or is an unbeliever (2 Cor. 6:14ff; 1 Cor. 7:39), but it is a
necessary fruit of repentance when two believers have been divorced and are
able to remarry one another (Mal. 2:13‑16; Matt. 5:32, 1 Cor. 7:11).
III. When one partner resists all means of
reconciliation and refuses to maintain a monogamous, cohabitant relationship
(through unrepentant sexual sin or desertion), then the faithful spouse cannot
fulfill his or her covenant obligations and is released from the moral
responsibility to do so (Jer. 3:6‑10; Matt. 5:32; 1 Cor. 7:15). When that
marriage bond is severed through divorce (Deut. 24:1-4, 1 Cor. 7:11), the faithful spouse is then free to
marry another Christian (1 Cor. 7:8‑9, 27‑28).
IV. Criminal physical abuse often falls
into the category of “desertion” (1 Cor. 7:15) because unrepentant abusers prove
that they do not want to live with their spouses. Such abuse should be reported
to the police as well as the church (Rom. 13:1-5, Matt. 18:15-17) and an
initial separation should occur for the safety of the victim (Prov. 22:3, 27:12).
If abusive partners do not repent and change significantly, they should be
treated as unbelievers who don't really want to live with their partners,
because legal and/or safety considerations would keep the abused partners from
returning to the home.
V. Believers who have been divorced
prior to their identification with Christ and the church, and cannot be
reconciled because their former spouse is an unbeliever or is remarried, are
free to remain single or marry another believer (1 Cor. 7:20, 24, 27; 2 Cor.
5:16‑17).
VI. In cases where an unbiblical divorce
has taken place in a single person's past, the leaders of the church should
help that person to repent and "unscramble the egg" according to
biblical principles (Heb. 13:17; Matt. 18:18). If true repentance has taken
place and reconciliation is not possible with the former spouse, then the
forgiven believer could pursue another relationship under the oversight of his
or her spiritual authorities (1 Cor. 7:27-28, 36-39; 1 Tim. 5:11-14).
VII. In cases where believers have been
divorced and remarried unbiblically, the answer is confession and repentance
(Prov. 28:13; 1 John 1:8-9) and then continuing in their current marriage
according to biblical principles (Eph. 5:21-33), because they are now bound to
the obligations of the covenant made with the new spouse (Deut. 24:1-4; 1 Cor.
7:17-24).
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