My dear Snagheel,
It is my deliciously nefarious privilege to offer you the following summary of the strategies that have been used most effectively by your fellow tempters in this present age, two thousand years since our Enemy walked the earth in human form. I learned many of these basic principles from Screwtape, my ingenious tutor, but I have updated and added to them for your benefit. When my time-consuming current assignment in Philadelphia has ended, I will endeavor to compose for you a more complete handbook of letters, to assist you in your significant, if not happy, business.
To begin with a time-honored method: Prompt your human subjects to suppose that we do not exist. Build upon the helpful groundwork laid by the scientific empiricism of the modern age, and capitalize on the tendencies of their own hearts to think that nothing exists but what they can see, touch, or experience emotionally.
If they do believe we are real, trick them into thinking we are grotesque, slobbering monsters, rather than sly and subtle tempters. If they should discover that our master appears as an angel of light, for instance, they may become far too skeptical and discerning for their own good.
Entice them to forget that we are at war with the Enemy and with their own souls. Our most powerful weapons in this regard are the various entertainment media, of course. If you can get them to absorb large amounts of the television, movies, music, and netfare we inspire, you will most likely succeed on that count alone. And you will most certainly be successful if you can get them to do this mindlessly, without recognizing the subtle and not-so-subtle temptations and lies imbedded in their "fun."
If they do recognize the reality of spiritual warfare, try to divert them into perverse variations and additions to what the Enemy has enjoined upon them in his loathsome Book. Encourage them to think they should talk to us, "bind" us, "cast us out," or resort to ritualistic prayer formulas. You will find, if given the enviable opportunity, that there are few enjoyments greater than willfully suspending your influence on a human subject when a well-meaning friend "binds you" or "casts you out." This amusing frolic leaves the friend thinking he has power over us, while the subject has been "delivered" by some other means than his own repentance.
Remember the power of "little sins" like pride, gossip, laziness, and judgmentalism. As Screwtape so elegantly instructed me, time and again, the usefulness of these lies in the fact that a subject's life can be utterly filled with them, while he continues to be esteemed by others and think of himself as a godly man.
If the hairless apes do become agitated at their own sins, quickly offer them alternate explanations for why they have done wrong. Do not allow them to accept personal responsibility for their crimes against the Enemy, because from there they may stagger closer to his cross (which is the last place we want them to go). Toward this end, you can supply them with numerous excuses, drawn from the infinite well of modern psychological theory.
If those excuses fail for some reason, and they look toward religion for absolution and forgiveness, encourage them in this pursuit. But, as I already said and will say a thousand more times, keep them away from the cross at all costs. Non-Christian religions are ideal, most forms of Christianity are acceptable, and even evangelical Christianity will pose no problem as long as they think the Enemy is saving and forgiving them because of something that they do, and not because of his free, undeserved grace. We have made great inroads into the once formidable evangelical church by suggesting that making a "decision" or saying a prayer somehow moves the Enemy to bestow his grace. We have so successfully obscured the meaning of the word faith that even many of his captains are misusing it. I shall write more of this glorious victory in the future, but for now it suffices to say that any way of "salvation" that bypasses the cross, even slightly, is highly desirable. Like the pilgrim in that infamous and repulsive old book by John Bunyan, your subjects will most surely lose their burdens of sin and guilt if they are allowed to hear and understand what Jesus was doing on that most despised of all days. We have lost far too many promising subjects when the Spirit of the Enemy has made use of such learning, turning them away from all self-reliance and turning their hearts toward him in trust and love.
Finally, Snagheel, permit me to summarize my summary by saying that your goal should be to turn their attention away from the person of Jesus Christ, by any means available. Tempt them to focus on themselves and the world around them, or even on doctrines about Christ, benevolence in his name, or other things that are not bad in themselves. Though they might be "good" things, they fortunately can become "bad" when they distract from the one at his right hand. When such distractions fail, and the humans take the time to sit at their Savior's feet, he invariably demonstrates a frustrating ability to win their hearts completely. He becomes so awe-inspiring and beautiful to them that they willfully and cheerfully become his servants forever. Then for us, all hope is lost.
Your uncle WORMWOOD